Last I wrote on how skinned knees are easier to cure than broken hearts. I got some shocked reader feedback….how can I bare all about my broken heart on a public platform??… is it not too personal a story??…etc etc
Till people read my examples and understood that am talking of intense disappointments and let downs…whether done to me …or done by me…and then got what i mean by heartbreaks. It was not a bare all, no holds barred story of unrequited love confessions a la Hollywood style, but rather the day to day jolts and falls we all go through.
Am reminded of the famous Sardarji joke. Santa slips and falls off a banana peel one day. The very next day when he sees another banana peel lying on the road, he curses aloud,“धत्त तेरी की!!! आज फिर गिरना पड़ेगा!!” (Oh Heck no!!!! Now today I will have to fall again!!!!)
Life is all about facing disappointments and pain, and carrying on despite it all! Napoleon had remarked that there is no brave soldier…one who is not scared…all soldiers are scared in the throes of battle…but a good soldier is one who is scared and still retains his ability to fight and follow his orders. Life’s battles continue to prepare us to be better soldiers…one who retains the ability to fight back and continue despite all the setbacks, the knives in our backs, the large let downs, the broken expectations and the unfaithfulness of our friends. Sara Teasdale (The Collected Poems) put it ,well,“It is strange how often a heart must be broken/ Before the years can make it wise.”
I, for one, tried to follow other smart people’s advice and suffered the same fate as Agatha Christie who noted: “Everybody said, “Follow your heart”. I did, it got broken”. Or see the immortal love queen Marilyn Monroe’s famous musings: “This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go… As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up…” Rather, I have reconciled with the view that the heart was meant to be broken and the road to true happiness is paved with many sad events, disappointments and longings.
The present crisis in my heart’s journey is seeing my daughter off… as she goes abroad for further studies! The feeling that she will not be around daily is disconcerting and disturbing. That she will be alone in a foreign land, fighting her own battles, resolving her own issues and far, far away from my watchful eye is heart rending. But alongside this feeling is the basic question: am I unhappy because she will be away? or am I more disturbed by the fact that she may actually not miss me at all? She has a new life opening up before her. So will I be redundant in her life? The dilemma is similar to that of any father at the time of marriage of his daughter…while he wants her to be happy in the new household that she is going to be a part of…there is also a sadness and grief of the emerging gap in your own life, your own family, your house, your own heart…. Mineko Iwasaki knew his stuff when he observed: “Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.”
All of us who have loved and lost know: Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you had been before the fall. Augusta Webster sings of this state ” we two shall still meet day by day,
But never more shall heart respond to heart.
Two stranger boats can drift down one tide,
Two branches on one stem grow green apart.
Farewell, I say.”
Farewell. God Speed. All the Best. I for one aver and understand: we must open our hearts and be ready for the fall. Know our heart will break, but expose it anyways. To complete Marilyn Monroe’s earlier quote: “…Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
So to my daughter and all those who regularly and routinely break my heart, to my sisters, brothers, friends and lovers, to all my well wishers and ill wishers, I say what Augustus Waters tells his lover Hazel in the Hollywood blockbuster The Fault in Our Stars: “It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you”.
The quintessential philosopher of today’s nihilistic times Albert Camus has the last word on this: “It is necessary to fall in love – the better to provide an alibi for all the despair we are going to feel anyway.” This appeals to my misanthrope heart and mind. But for you, my dear positive readers, I end with our favorite ABBA
Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they’re leaving
You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
So dear daughter,and all my heart breakers, I end echoing Nayirrah Waheed: “you not wanting me
the beginning of me
thank you” : vikibaba
22 Replies to “Heartbreaks…they go on…”
Dear Vikas Sahab,
In my view heart breaks are painful. Pain is white, many people I heard saying we enjoy pain. As in sanskrit said, “Atrune patitoh vanhihi swayamewopashamyati”. If we feuel any energy it will excist if not fuelled it will extinguish. I thoroughly felt your feelings very deeply. Its really touching wonderfully expressed.
If we fuel any energy…truer words were never said. If we fuel negativity, negativity will prosper and so also when we fuel positive thoughts.
So what we attract is finally our choice
We can never me miserable, or happy for that matter, unless we open ourselves to that emotion
so heartbreaks are caused and they do not just happen
as are wins and joyous events created
which side of the road we walk is our choice
I know my daughter has gone for her future, her good
after dropping her off, I have come back
and now I must carry on
that is why they say Le Roi ist mort; Vive le Roi!!!!
(the king is dead, Long live the King)
we must rise from every fall/break/pain and move on
Touching! Beautifully expressed Vikas!
Thanks Pradeep my dear friend
Well expressed Vikas.
So thoughtful and meaningful worth reading by all.
Thanks a ton Nariman. I try to say practical things from my own experience. Glad that they appeal to well wishers like you
Life is a roller coaster by default from the nature .
Irrespective of your social strata , being a human being you will have “Heartbreaks” . It’s a clear sign of falling back to Supreme Power – The Almighty but rarely we Unser stand .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yunus bhai love the way you have connected the topic and the human experience of heartbreaks to the Larger Power and our desire to reach back to the Supreme Power for all that is lacking in our lives….Yes we are never far from the influence and so glad to reminded us all about that hunger in our hearts. Inna Lillahi wa Inna illahi raji’un (we belong to Allah and to him we shall return) Ameen.
thanks for your kind words.
I am fine
we are in London to drop off Rashmi for her London School of Fashion PG course
Back end of the month
will catch up then
Touched my heart…thank you!
Amal dada thanks
Hurts make you wiser… Sometimes the price you pay is heavy. It makes you realise your weakness and your strength. But to find strength when you are weak and hurt is the hard part.
Agree. But find a way you must. For such is Life….
I have no enough words to express my feelings and thoughts after reading this blog. It came at the right time in my life. Somehow i am also going through a similar situation in my life currently. Thank you so much for this…Your thoughts have started changing my perspective about heartbreaks !
Ashay Remember night comes before dawn. The power of Now will help you overcome many challenges. Remember we all are children of the IS and we are born to succeed. Keep the faith and move on. Pain is a part and parcel of life… but Daar ke aage jeet hai….
Very eloquently expressed. Must say, you have amazing talent
Thanks for your encouragement. I write from the heart….possibly that is why it comes out well….
Just …Awsome Awsome Awsome….superbly expressed….
Cynthia thans a ton for your kind words
EI read your blogs very carefully.They portrayed human feelings very vividly.
I admire them for your vast reading
and quoting them in your blogs.
Hope you all are fine
LikeLiked by 1 person
Comments are closed.