15th October brought the sudden & shocking news that my elder cousin Anal Pandit passed away. While shaken to the core, I was actually confused whether I am in grief or not. Let me explain.
For the past over 25 years Anal, who at one time was my closest relative & friend, had distanced himself from me & the rest of the extended family. He was upset with some developments, and which family does not have issues? But here Anal Bhau declared तुम्ही सगळे माझ्यासाठी मेलIत. All efforts from a number of us cousins to reconnect, apologize were steadfastly pushed back. And Anal chose to pursue his path alone. But this was NOT the core Anal. He was always a very loving and considerate person who had gathered a large friend circle around him & was very popular with most who came in touch with him. Let me start at the beginning.
My eldest maternal uncle had 4 sons. My eldest Mami was love personified. Though her financial situation was not comfortable initially, Abamami was a true family builder. Her house was always the center of family events & people. Forever welcoming & affectionate, she knew how to make everyone happy No sacrifice was too much for her to host others & show her love. All this was 100% replicated DNA of my Anal Bhau.
Anal was 1 year elder to me & his younger brother was 1 year younger. So I had great company of similar thoughts & experiences whenever I was with them. Every vacation when I was in Mumbai, I would run off from my grandfather’s house & stay at Worli with Abamami & family. Though the house was small, the hearts were super large. In the company of the cousins I sent my best holidays. To help & support his mother financially, Anal had started doing odd, yet arduous, jobs very early in life. Early in all senses of the term as while in school, he would get up at early hours to go out & distribute library books for children!! At that time, foolishly, only implication for me was Anal had some money in his pocket & could treat us to cutlets at the neighboring Irani cafe or iddli-wada at Matunga and wadapav & tea at Shivaji Park. Much later one realized that Analbhau taught us the dignity of labor.
Even as kids, one was impressed with his network when we moved around together. Every alternate person would know & acknowledge him at Shivaji Park & Worli. His friends were legion. And the friends of younger or elder brother also soon became a part of his extended circle. His school was at Dadar thus his बालेकिल्ला became Dadar & Shivaji Park. Later I studied in Ruparel, Anal in Ruia & his younger brother at Poddar, Anal was the only one of us who developed friends in all 3 colleges. Some of his school friends went on to join IITs & then IIMs. Resultantly, Anal’s network grew wider & wider. And these friendships were never superficial. Anal’s contacts were deep: anyone of them would be ready to do anything for him. Correspondingly, Analbhau was always available for anyone in need. Generosity was in his blood stream. He gave very freely of his time, effort & where possible even money to help and support others. And all this with no expectation of any return favors!! My first house purchase was with Anal’s physical help & running around. When we returned from Atul & were looking for a flat, Anal spent weeks & weeks with us, moving around & shortlisting properties. The negotiations were spearheaded by Anal. And the cash part of both the house deals were done with Analbhau carrying the bag of cash. De facto, Vinita & I could not imagine doing anything in Mumbai without involvement & support of Analda.
Anal in Sanskrit is Fire. Anal was that part of FIRE which helps and improves others’ lot. Giving light, spreading cheer & warmth helping others, makes others’ lives better: all this was second nature to him. Amongst all of us cousins in this generation, Anal had the most well developed social conscience. His caring nature shone through in his support of a myriad schemes of social service projects. Did he learn this from his stint in National Social Service (NSS) in college? His commitment was deeper than what most of us had as teenagers. Even as a college student he was actively conducting Blood Donation camps spending his hard earned money to sponsor coffee & biscuits for the blood donors. His dedication to the social cause continued & possibly I for one got out of my I-me-Myself mindset that was core to my being due to him. Anal was aware of how the “rest of the world” lived & was always keen to see what he could contribute to improve their lot. Though unmarried, he was never alone. He epitomized the हे विश्वाची मIझे घर philosophy.
Amar, Anal’s younger brother, was the first amongst our generation to go abroad to work in Middle East as a CA. Most of the other brood made international trips for work. Analbhau was the only one who financed his trip abroad from his own money. With his large number of school friends spread across the length & breadth of US, Anal lived for 3/4 months in US travelling all across the continent in Greyhound buses. He had to spend zero on hotels. His stay was all in friends’ homes. But he saw the US much better than anyone of us who have gone as tourists or on official trips. He experienced America first hand, very closely & managed to make so many friends & family happy as he reached out & spent time with them.
Anal’s another unique characteristic was his comfort with all levels & social strata. Whether it was the Royal family of Baroda, the Gaekwads ( with whom he worked for years as a consultant) or School children Anal managed to carry his Zen with him always. He was equally at ease with corporate Directors or workmen. Housewives or highly placed professionals all listened to Anal and sought his advice. Whenever Anal visited any household. ALL people there became his close friends. How many of us can say my school friends’ wife is equally my personal friend. The grandparents in houses became his friends & prior to the email & mobile regime, he used to regularly write long letters & had made many, many pen-friends. As an observer, I many times admired the fact that one friend’s wife considered him a great smoking partner ( though Anal never smoked & just gave of his companionship) while in another house he was the fav companion to listen to old Hindi film songs. Rich diversity & inclusion was a core value Anal lived by.
As though all these characteristics were not enough to enrich this personality, Anal had a way of facing adversities & challenges with a positive frame of mind. Nothing was difficult for Analbhau. And he would not give up easily. Overcoming obstacles came naturally to him & he did it with a smile. He had to face a lot in life but that did not diminish his self confidence & faith in mankind
So to answer the question I raised at the start: I realize I am grieving & hurting. Obviously, the world is poorer with the loss of this pillar of friendship & support. Am sure wherever he is , he is looking down on his friends & family in a benign manner, satisfied with himself for an innings well played, with significant contribution to all around him. All of which would be most fondly & gratefully remembered.
Anal Bhau we will miss you. RIP ( return if Possible) vikas
Vikasblog 