15th October brought the sudden & shocking news that my elder cousin Anal Pandit passed away. While shaken to the core, I was actually confused whether I am in grief or not. Let me explain.
For the past over 25 years Anal, who at one time was my closest relative & friend, had distanced himself from me & the rest of the extended family. He was upset with some developments, and which family does not have issues? But here Anal Bhau declared तुम्ही सगळे माझ्यासाठी मेलIत. All efforts from a number of us cousins to reconnect, apologize were steadfastly pushed back. And Anal chose to pursue his path alone. But this was NOT the core Anal. He was always a very loving and considerate person who had gathered a large friend circle around him & was very popular with most who came in touch with him. Let me start at the beginning.
My eldest maternal uncle had 4 sons. My eldest Mami was love personified. Though her financial situation was not comfortable initially, Abamami was a true family builder. Her house was always the center of family events & people. Forever welcoming & affectionate, she knew how to make everyone happy No sacrifice was too much for her to host others & show her love. All this was 100% replicated DNA of my Anal Bhau.
Anal was 1 year elder to me & his younger brother was 1 year younger. So I had great company of similar thoughts & experiences whenever I was with them. Every vacation when I was in Mumbai, I would run off from my grandfather’s house & stay at Worli with Abamami & family. Though the house was small, the hearts were super large. In the company of the cousins I sent my best holidays. To help & support his mother financially, Anal had started doing odd, yet arduous, jobs very early in life. Early in all senses of the term as while in school, he would get up at early hours to go out & distribute library books for children!! At that time, foolishly, only implication for me was Anal had some money in his pocket & could treat us to cutlets at the neighboring Irani cafe or iddli-wada at Matunga and wadapav & tea at Shivaji Park. Much later one realized that Analbhau taught us the dignity of labor.
Even as kids, one was impressed with his network when we moved around together. Every alternate person would know & acknowledge him at Shivaji Park & Worli. His friends were legion. And the friends of younger or elder brother also soon became a part of his extended circle. His school was at Dadar thus his बालेकिल्ला became Dadar & Shivaji Park. Later I studied in Ruparel, Anal in Ruia & his younger brother at Poddar, Anal was the only one of us who developed friends in all 3 colleges. Some of his school friends went on to join IITs & then IIMs. Resultantly, Anal’s network grew wider & wider. And these friendships were never superficial. Anal’s contacts were deep: anyone of them would be ready to do anything for him. Correspondingly, Analbhau was always available for anyone in need. Generosity was in his blood stream. He gave very freely of his time, effort & where possible even money to help and support others. And all this with no expectation of any return favors!! My first house purchase was with Anal’s physical help & running around. When we returned from Atul & were looking for a flat, Anal spent weeks & weeks with us, moving around & shortlisting properties. The negotiations were spearheaded by Anal. And the cash part of both the house deals were done with Analbhau carrying the bag of cash. De facto, Vinita & I could not imagine doing anything in Mumbai without involvement & support of Analda.
Anal in Sanskrit is Fire. Anal was that part of FIRE which helps and improves others’ lot. Giving light, spreading cheer & warmth helping others, makes others’ lives better: all this was second nature to him. Amongst all of us cousins in this generation, Anal had the most well developed social conscience. His caring nature shone through in his support of a myriad schemes of social service projects. Did he learn this from his stint in National Social Service (NSS) in college? His commitment was deeper than what most of us had as teenagers. Even as a college student he was actively conducting Blood Donation camps spending his hard earned money to sponsor coffee & biscuits for the blood donors. His dedication to the social cause continued & possibly I for one got out of my I-me-Myself mindset that was core to my being due to him. Anal was aware of how the “rest of the world” lived & was always keen to see what he could contribute to improve their lot. Though unmarried, he was never alone. He epitomized the हे विश्वाची मIझे घर philosophy.
Amar, Anal’s younger brother, was the first amongst our generation to go abroad to work in Middle East as a CA. Most of the other brood made international trips for work. Analbhau was the only one who financed his trip abroad from his own money. With his large number of school friends spread across the length & breadth of US, Anal lived for 3/4 months in US travelling all across the continent in Greyhound buses. He had to spend zero on hotels. His stay was all in friends’ homes. But he saw the US much better than anyone of us who have gone as tourists or on official trips. He experienced America first hand, very closely & managed to make so many friends & family happy as he reached out & spent time with them.
Anal’s another unique characteristic was his comfort with all levels & social strata. Whether it was the Royal family of Baroda, the Gaekwads ( with whom he worked for years as a consultant) or School children Anal managed to carry his Zen with him always. He was equally at ease with corporate Directors or workmen. Housewives or highly placed professionals all listened to Anal and sought his advice. Whenever Anal visited any household. ALL people there became his close friends. How many of us can say my school friends’ wife is equally my personal friend. The grandparents in houses became his friends & prior to the email & mobile regime, he used to regularly write long letters & had made many, many pen-friends. As an observer, I many times admired the fact that one friend’s wife considered him a great smoking partner ( though Anal never smoked & just gave of his companionship) while in another house he was the fav companion to listen to old Hindi film songs. Rich diversity & inclusion was a core value Anal lived by.
As though all these characteristics were not enough to enrich this personality, Anal had a way of facing adversities & challenges with a positive frame of mind. Nothing was difficult for Analbhau. And he would not give up easily. Overcoming obstacles came naturally to him & he did it with a smile. He had to face a lot in life but that did not diminish his self confidence & faith in mankind
So to answer the question I raised at the start: I realize I am grieving & hurting. Obviously, the world is poorer with the loss of this pillar of friendship & support. Am sure wherever he is , he is looking down on his friends & family in a benign manner, satisfied with himself for an innings well played, with significant contribution to all around him. All of which would be most fondly & gratefully remembered.
Anal Bhau we will miss you. RIP ( return if Possible) vikas
Vikasblog 
Vikas,
A poignant eulogy.
“RIP” at the end is probably redundant since Anal Bhau continues to live in your hearts.
Aum Shanti.
Nikhil
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nikhilbhai
thanks for your kind words
in a way you are right
analbhau’ memories will always shine bright in all the hearts he touched
the heavens are richer with the entry of this gem
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nikhil bhai
soory for the late response
i have a stupid ( i can imagine you saying….”par for the course” under your breath) way to check if all comments are answered.
i check the count of total comments…if it is even i feel all are replied
this time i saw an even 36
but then realused i had sent 2 replues to Taninder
sobyour non reply went un noticed
sorry
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Dear Vikas,
Your grief touches heart. Very well expressed. My condolences.
Jayant
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Thanks Jayant. Yes we went back a long long time. So had a lot to share
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Great to know he was indeed a friend than a relative….
All points for a good qualities of a great person were with him.
Sincerely this reminds me that to the extent we live in, we need to be good humane.
Not the least, the blog reminds me that we are also in the queue and our time are limited in this world… Hence help, together with other human beings to leave a mark, similar to Anal….
Sincerely
Venkatta Ramanan
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Venkat
You said it my friend
this is the truth of the Human Condition
we all will pass through this
we must live in a manner that after us people speak about us wih fondness and admiration
Indeed Anal was one such person
we were lucky that we spent a few decades together
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Beautifully written sir!
I could relate to your description as in every household there is one or more such people whom we have observed since childhood. And we long for them to reconnect with us, also because we can teach our kids the value to family.
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Taninder
you said it
we all have such people in our families
what a lovely way you remind all of us
they are important teachers and mentors on the journey of life
Thanks T for your perceptive comment
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Taninder thans for your comment
Yes indeed such Anal bhaus are around us
and they are the strongest teachers of values to our next generation
Only regret it they are not understood and valued during their life time
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Vikasdada,
Don’t know what to say after reading your post on Analdada. You wrote in most lively manner about a person who is no more. Your words about Analdada brought tears to me, just as memories of my interactions with him rushed through my thoughts. My son Sumeet had met Analdada few years ago in a wedding reception. It was just for few minutes, but he made a lasting impression of that short meeting.
To me, he was a lovely and lovable human being, who will always be with me. Don’t say ” Return If Possible”…….
RETURN YOU MUST
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meera thanks for your comment
also saw what you sent to Padma
both comments are replete with your love n admiration for Anal da
am sure Sumeet will have fobd memories from just 1 interaction…we all were fortunate to have known Anal bhau longer
i agree with you
Return he must
hope and our paths cross again
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Every word of this tribute is so true and heartfelt, echoing the sentiments of everyone who had the privilege of knowing Anal Kaka. I carry such fond memories of the time I spent in Mumbai as a fresh graduate with my first job. One that stands out is when Kaka took me shopping to buy my engagement sari. With my parents in another city and me feeling completely lost, he stepped in like a father figure, guiding me with care.
The news of his sudden passing was a shock, and the void it leaves behind is immense. Kaka was more than just an uncle—he was a friend, a mentor, and a source of love and support to everyone. What amazed me most was how even my 11-year-old, who had only met Kaka 4 or 5 times during our visits to India, cried upon hearing the news. Despite the physical distance between us, Kaka’s warmth and love transcended generations, creating deep connections even with those he met briefly.
He had a remarkable way of making every person feel important and valued, and his loss leaves an unfillable void. I will forever miss his calls, his wise advice, the long chats, and, of course, the special treats at Jaihind every time we visited Mumbai. It’s hard to imagine life without him. Likeyou said – Rest in peace, Kaka—or better yet, come back if you can. You will always be missed.
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Shilpa thanks for your comment
The memories you shared about the engagement Sari or Jaihind right upto your son breaking down….that was vintage Anal
he made deep n lasting impressions wherever he went
i have never seen another oerson who was so people oriented n loved company
he would always be missed
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RIP Anal Bhau.
Very impressive personality indeed.
If you grow beard, you might resemble him.
warm regards,
amit
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amit thanks for your kindness n sweet feelings
lekin kahan Raja Bhoj aur kahan Gangu teli
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Vikas,
What a brilliant and well deserved tribute to Anal!
Everyone of us is a hero in his own way. Some remain unsung. I suppose, Anal, is one of those unsung heroes.
The other facet of humanity that I believe is there’s always a positivity in every human being but we fail to recognise it while they are alive.
The best part of the obituary is to see the fire in Anal as something that gave warmth, solace and comfort to the surroundings instead of looking at the fire that is known to burn and hurt.
I think, Anal lived a king’s life and on his own terms.
I would just say….
जो आवडतो सर्वांना तोची आवडे देवाला.
My prayers to Almighty to give Moksha to the departed soul.
Om shanti om. 🙏🙏
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Pramod
very well said
Anal da was certainly a loved one
his army of friends bear testimony to that
Anal as fire was also seen in his manasvi swabhav
He was always confident n positive about his contributions to family n friends
you have spoken of Moksha
indeed Anal would go straight to heaven
he and Aba mama both died a very good death
no pain no running atound no hospitalization
literally with thier shoes on…working till the end…engaged n doing what they liked
obv God liked them both very much n must have welcomed both Aba Nama n Analda with open arms
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Dear Vikas Shirodkar- a really touching eulogy of Anal Bhau. Really a lot of qualities are worth emulating. Thanks to write and share this.
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NVC
Thanks for your kind words
normally i take a day plus to type out a blig
but for Anal bhau the words just flowed n i completed in less than an hour
so glad you found it good reading
hope to stay in touch
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Honest to the core, one can sense the kind of attachment you had with him
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Thanks SSA Yes we enjoyed a fabulous rapprt
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honest to the core one can sense the kind of attachment you had with Anubhau
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Thanks Arani appreciate your feedback
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A blatant revelation of the bonding with your much adored cousin detailing the unforgettable moments shared during the life’s journey and so vivid a tribute I’ve ever come across in the recent times . You’ve penned down feelings of your heart yet it appeared as if the soul was spilling out every word we heard sitting besides you . Amazing & pretty touchy.
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Debi da
thanks He did leave larger than life impressions on me and helped both Vinita my wife and me become what we are today
I sat to write and literally the words just flowed and the out pouring stopped only when I felt emptied of my pain
you have sensed that
much appreciated
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very well described anal in few words. A person whom no one whether his relatives,friends ,professional, students can forget.
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Atul
indeed he was one amongst many
Unforgettable and Kind
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The tribute penned by you shows the great bond you both had. May his souls rest in peace, Om Shanti
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many thanks Yesh After my parents he was THE biggest influence on my life
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what a heartfelt tribute Vikas
i can resonate with your thoughts
about your cousin
may his soul rest in peace
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Thank you very much for your kind words
and soul felt blessings
In a smaller or larger extent such people are around us
the Human Condition is the same
that is what unites us
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very heart touching article. Wish everyone had such a sibling in their lives. RIP 🙏
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Sanjay many thanks for your good words. Yes such a person in everyone’s life would be greatest blessing one can wish for
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Brought tears to my eyes. I remember the time he gave me free access to the computer in his office at Peddar Road when he was working for the Gaekwads to type out my PhD chapters so that I didn’t have to give it outside and thereby I could save some money. He would also ensure that I had something to eat and drink from the sandwich shop at the beginning of the lane. Somewhere his hurt must have been really deep for him to want to keep away from family. I was in touch but feel now that we all could have tried harder. Will remember you always Anal Dada
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Yes his kindness was exemplary. His orientation to others was inspirational
I agree we should have done more
some of us tried but he reamined bitter
Vinita did the right thing by going for the antim darshan & seeking his forgiveness though post his death
I am sure he will always look down on us with love
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Such Analbhau is seen in many families. He was an asset to your family. I think कोणीतरी पडतं घ्यायला हवं असतं ताणतणावात. He deserted you and it was a family loss. well described. Liked it.
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Nilesh kaka yes indeed we should have tried better for a rapprochement Since for the same event our Mami ( his mother) and brothers let go we did not try enough. Now there will only be a regret. What if…
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