My dearest father…may his soul rest in peace…taught us many great truths. One of his favorite quote was “Every saint has a past….and every sinner a future”. And this, while he was counselling me when I had sinned. But let me begin the story at the beginning…a good place to start!!!
I have always been a strong movie buff….the large screen, the love stories, the beautiful heroines, the suffering heroes, the convoluting twists and turns of fate held great fascination for me. Mine is a serious case of Bollywood addiction!!! Every movie which released, must be seen by me!!!
But in school times, I was on a small, monthly pocket money. And that did not last very long in front of my burning desire to see each & every movie. So I took to stealing. Maybe stealing is a big word, it was more like pinching pennies….a 2 Rupee note here, a 5 Rupee note there: pinched from my mother’s kitchen purse, or my father’s trouser pocket. Maximum was 10 Rupees if I felt very adventurous!! Never large sums, as I felt that would get too much attention. But small amounts which, I hoped, would go unnoticed. All to fuel my movie mania. (As I write, I just realised this kleptomania may have run in the family. A cousin took this to a different level, and started skimming money from bank accounts…where he was working…and nearly landed in jail!!! But that is another story!)
Let me get back to my small thefts. As happens often, Truth Prevailed… I got caught & exposed. Fortunately, only by my loving Father and my doting Mother. I was crestfallen & crushed, guilty like hell, totally low & self-humiliated. And while telling me to rise above such petty tendencies, my father gave Wilde’s words of solace…Every saint has a past….and every sinner a future! They supported and counselled me out of my bad habit, and brought me up to be an upright and honest adult, who takes great pride in how he changed for the better.
History is replete with examples of sinners and saints who have walked on both sides of the line.
In Hindu mythology, the most illustrious case must be of Valmiki. Valya Koli was a bandit looting and killing people in the jungles. He accosted Sage Narada once. When challenged by Narada, as to why he is sinning against humanity and whether anybody will share his guilt, Valya Koli had the realisation that he alone was answerable for his misdeeds. He decided to mend his ways, in the process becoming a Sage himself! As Valmiki, he went on to pen the Ramayana. Known as the “Adi Kavi”, the first Poet, he composed India’s premier epic.
Angulimala, the bandit thief who wore a necklace of the fingers he cut off from his victims, is another story which teaches the lesson that everyone can change their life for the better, even the least likely people. Aṅgulimāla (Pali literally ‘finger necklace’) is an important figure in Buddhism. In childhood, he was a scholar and a favourite of his teacher. Due to the jealousy of fellow students, his teacher was provoked into asking him to get 100 fingers to complete his study. Angulimala became a ruthless brigand. Yet he completely transformed after conversion to Buddhism. He is seen as the example par excellence of the redemptive power of the Buddha’s teaching and the power to change. Under Gautama Buddha, Angulimala gave up his old ways and became a monk himself.
Judas Iscariot exemplifies the other half of our basic proposition. Here we have one of the original Twelve Disciples, who betrayed Jesus Christ by kissing him and revealing his identity to the crowd who had come to arrest him!! While the motive for Judas’s betrayal is still debated, Jesus himself had predicted the betrayal at the Last Supper. According to the Gospel of Matthew [26:15] Judas received 30 pieces of silver. Gospels of Luke and John say he was possessed by Satan. Whatever the reason, in Judas we see illustrious follower & “saint” fall from grace and become a “sinner” in the eyes of posterity. Interestingly, we must accept that the betrayal of Judas, set in motion events that led to the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ, which in turn brought salvation to humanity!! Good or Bad? Saint or Sinner? Debates rage on as The Gnostic Gospel of Judas – rejected by the mainstream Church as heretical – praises Judas for his role in triggering humanity’s salvation and exalts Judas as the best of the apostles.
So is being a Saint or a Sinner separated by a very thin line? Can we truly differentiate?
दिल की आवाज़ भी सुन मेरे फसाने पे न जा
मेरी नज़रों की तरफ देख जमाने पे न जा……thus sang Mohammad Rafi in Humsaya. And that is indeed true for all Sinners….and also all saints, past or present.
In modern times, look at the industry icons, the New Age Apostles!! Have they reached pinnacles of success purely following a pristine path? Behind every commercial success, there are many skeletons in the cupboard!! Who will judge Dhirubhai Ambani: Sinner or Saint? Histories of large business empires are replete with stories spoken in hushed tones in mixed company. How will you judge Mukesh Ambani? or Anil Ambani for that matter, who frittered away all he had received on a platter? Akash & Isha Ambani may have come with shining degrees from US business schools. But can they stay away from the shadow of corruption and manipulations of the Reliance Industries’ past? This is just one industrial house I quote, as it has been most hotly debated publicly, for years. But who comes with totally clean hands? Saints or Sinners?
The debate continues. The recent case of V G Siddhartha of CCD committing suicide is another classic example. Reports yo-yoed from calling him an epitome of humane corporate leadership to talks of blatant gangsterism in acquiring the coffee estates & building his plantation empire. Beginning with calling the IT Departments and Banks as villians in ruining a good entrepreneur, the tone soon changed to how political pressure was used to get soft loans and then defaulting on repayments. The web is yet to be unravelled and the jury is still out to conclude decisively whether VG Siddhartha was a Saint or a Sinner? Or take the case of our P Chidambaran – one time Finance and Home Minister who was hiding from the police & authorities. Kartik Chidambaran disproportionate assets makes the word disproportionate pale into insignificance. Harvard educated, Chidambaram was revered once. But now?? Saint? or Sinner?
The example I quote often is Alfred Bernhard Nobel. Engineer, Chemist, Businessman and Inventor : 355 patents to his name! The synthetic element “nobelium” is named after him!!!
Today’s generation will know him for the Nobel Prizes in Pure Sciences and Peace Prize. And thereby hangs the tale. The Nobel fortune was founded on his patent for Dynamite. Bofors was a iron and steel company, before Nobel transformed it to a maker of cannons and guns ….weapons of destruction!!! Reading an premature obituary which blamed him for making a fortune from selling arms, he bequeathed his entire fortune to institute the Nobel Prizes. This is how he is remembered today. Saint? or Sinner turned Saint? You decide.
So I come back to the basic thing my Father taught me. All Saints have a past. They have done things they may not proud of. And would rather forget or at least, gloss over or embellish when history is written. Similarly, all Sinners should have the faith that Tomorrow is yet another day. The new Sun will come with other potentialities. And newer endings to the story of life, which is still being written. As King Khan reassured us in Om Shanti Om…if Happy Endings have not come, then do not lose faith….पिक्चर अभी बाकि है मेरे दोस्त. Things will change. And you can choose a different future….or a different past, a la Richard Bach.
If you keep the Faith, then the following concluding lines of the Humsaya song ring true… मैं हक़ीकत हूँ, ये एक रोज दिखाऊँगा तुझे
बेगुनाही पे मोहब्बत की रुलाऊँगा तुझे
So Learn to Forgive and Keep the Trust, the cycle will turn: vikas the hopeful
Vikasblog 
Very honestly and refreshingly written! I think this is one of your best till date.
People evolve over time. And you should judge the “latest version” of a person rather than his past. Provided, of course, that he/she has genuinely turned over a new leaf. Sometimes it is hard to make out if the change is genuine or pretense. But always hope for the best – that humans can better themselves…
LikeLike
Well said Amit…Latest and the Best version is what we should remember people by…to reach that stage we all evolve through some not so proud versions, but such is life. I have always been one for giving the benefit of doubt to others and not judging them at all….for indeed who are we to judge…let him cast the first stone who has not sinned. And we all have our past stories to hide….which was the theme of the blog. Glad you liked it
LikeLike
Hello VS,
another brilliant piece!
i admire your candid admissions about your ‘misadventures’ in the younger days. It almost reminded me of the initial parts of “Experiments with truth” (Satya na prayogo ) wherein Gandhiji admits about his follies as a child..he having stolen a golden bracelet from his father. (in a lighter vein, if u also had put your hands on such valuables , rather than the 5 rupee notes ,you may have by now been in His rank!)
Your story also tells a lot about your father. He did not fall victim to the usual punishment mode ..but motivated you in a remarkable way to be a different person! He has set a good example of a responsible ‘parenthood’.
the stories that you have narrated beautifully are indeed stories of great transformation ..from Sinners to Sainthood. Surely it does not happen without great efforts and huge internal churning.
The magnitude of such transformations reminds me of the natural process through which a caterpillar turns in to a butterfly:
“One day, the caterpillar stops eating, hangs upside down from a twig or leaf and spins itself a silky cocoon or molts into a shiny chrysalis. Within its protective casing, the caterpillar radically transforms its body, eventually emerging as a butterfly ”
what happens within that period of its stay in the cocoon is what the ‘internal churning’ is all about.
the examples and the pics in your story also making it eye catching!
Thanks for sharing this beautiful write up!
LikeLike
JLS
thanks for your comments
I indeed look FW to reading your comments as it gives me a good indicator of whether I am making sense… or nonsense… in what I write.
To me Sainthood and Sin are not absolute points in a journey. Different people look on things differently. And I fo one will respect that.
I referred to the Gospel of Judas Iscariot….just to make the point treason and blasphemy may be seen very differently by other people and other times. Nathuram Godse is revered and hated, depending on whom you speak to. Similarly Hitler would never have doubted that cleaning the Jewish scrooge was correct, Aryans were indeed superior, and he was doing the “right” thing even in the concentration camps where Jewish killing was made into a precise process. Interestingly he convinced a large proportion of the German populace that he was right. More interestingly, they quickly made a double turn and became outspoken about Nazi cruelty. Lenin, Stalin, Mussolini…Saints or Sinners? Why go that far….Gandhi himself had enough opponents ( though I am an admirer, I hasten to add). Nehru’s peccadilloes with Lady Mountbatten, his stand vis a vis Kashmir and later China. Point I am trying to make is the Saintlihood ans Sinning is a continuum, not a bipolar scale. Time and tide can change a terrorist to a freedom fighter and vice versa.
So my only learning is…observe, see, understand but don’t label or stamp.
LikeLike
Wow… amazing read…makes us think beyond usual good and bad…
LikeLike
Thanks a lot dear friend
LikeLike
Well written, spruced with gems.
LikeLike
Thanks Nitin for your kind words
LikeLike
Amazing as always. A friend and I were having a conversation about how life can never be viewed in black and white.. because there are always so many areas of grey….this apart, your insights, observations and examples make this piece an amazing read and makes one ponder on life at so many different levels.
LikeLike
Minouti many thanks for your feedback. It is candid and encouraging.
Agree life has many shades of grey in between. And that is what makes it so much fun.
LikeLike
Vikas, well written blog on a relevant theme and with number of examples. Most big persons and businesses have something to hide and something to show as their achievement. Anywhere in the world, the person who follows rules and lives satisfactory life is forgotten. He does not become even saint. One who bends or breaks the rule and impresses superiors with his Jugaad makes fortune. But heart in heart he/ she knows that he/she has not followed truth. Then tries to become saint, visiting holi places, donating to temples etc. But that’s life. You can only change what you did in next birth if you are lucky to get one. Dr Kelkar
LikeLike
Doc Kelkar thanks for your comments. Many times you feel life is not fair. But still one needs to carry on. I think that is what makes it so interesting. Exposing oneself to multifarious experiences enriches you for life and vice versa. That is my faith n belief
LikeLike
Good read Vikas. Provokes thought.
Ramu
LikeLike
Thanks Ramu for your feedback
LikeLike
Very Very Thought Provoking sir.. Again this blog has put me back in gear to draw and understand the thin line between Sinner and Saint
Degree of good turn or deeds versus Degree of bad deeds or sins of every individual
Its circumstances and sometimes power determines this thin line
Loved reading this blog and urge to keep writing
Regards
Shakespeare
LikeLike
Thanks SD. I really liked your comment as it made me pause and rethink my arguments.
LikeLike
Very Very Thought Provoking sir.. Again this blog has put me back in gear to draw and understand the thin line between Sinner and Saint
Degree of good turn or deeds versus Degree of bad deeds or sins of every individual
Its circumstances and sometimes power determines this thin line
Loved reading this blog and urge to keep writing
Regards
Shakespeare
LikeLike
Nicely articulated Sir. It has further supported my belief system that each person has two sides. Situation around him or her decides which side would front end at a given point I. Time. Each side has it’s rationale. Thanks for sharing this universal truth in such a simple and convincing way. Regards
LikeLike
Vikas,
An excellent read with perfection at its peak.
It is said that behind every success, there is a crime. (Don’t relate it to a similar sounding sentence…Behind every successful man, there is a woman 🤭) Let me give an example of the founder of our college in Nagpur, G S College of Commerce & Economics. A very renowned and reputed college started by a great noble personality, Govindram Seksaria, who donated huge sum to promote education on the advice of Mahatma Gandhi. There are 5 colleges in his name including one Medical College.
Now look at the past of this nobleman., Saint in your words. He was declared bankrupt many times and when he used to appear in court in his Mercedes, once the lawyer of O P asked him as to how could he claim to be bankrupt when he was coming in such costly car. He replied, “My wife owns it and not me”
Should we call him a Saint or a Sinner is left to one’s choice.
LikeLike
Nilesh ji thanks a ton for your comments. And the interesting example from your early days. We are shaped by what we see and experience. Finally Saint or Sinner is only a label, a sense of perspective A lens that you use. I am for remaining open and exposed. As that will help me though all the twists n turns of fate
LikeLike
Exceptional piece,written with passion and fluidity.
Indeed we have dilemmas in life . Situational context, may turn a person, Valya or Valmiki.
Thanks for sharing.
LikeLike
Well said Suresh. Circumstances n situations make us as much as we make them. And every exposure in life shapes me one way or another
LikeLike
Hi Great piece…eye opener…How to put it VikasJi…so ” Thoda Thoda samaz me aa raha hai ke aap kya cheez ho..!!!!”
Excellent read..
LikeLike
Thanks Ravi….I admit I am a confused soul muddling through the vissitudes of life….but each experience had added to me and I love how I have grown ….up or down…..posterity will decide
LikeLike
Namaskar Vikasji,
The examples given by you relates to past life’s deeds. It relates to your Karmas and life design painted or decided/imaged by you (Chitavan). Today we are enjoying fruits of past life whether it is good or bad. We will enjoy the fruits of this life in next life according to our deeds in this life because rebirth is Pucca. This theory is applicable to all individuals you examples. This understanding is as per Adhyatma. Hope it clears…all…
LikeLike
Very relevant in today’s ‘social media’ enabled world of polarised views, where we opine in terms of black and white, and there is no scope for any shade of grey.
Talking of your love for movies… I believe our movies have had a key role in creating this black/while view of our world. Most movies of earlier decades (upto 90s) gave us stereotypes… Hero is always honest, Villian is always ruthless, Heroine can never smoke or drink, if she does then she’s the vamp…. And so on.
In the past couple of decades, we have become comfortable with shades of grey (hero messes up, heroine gets drunk, etc.)
I think this topic is something that we all need to contemplate upon… I, for one will contemplate on what areas of my own life I am not comfortable with shades of grey.
LikeLike
Hi Vikas , an excellent read.
It could be said that a sinner could actuaaly be a saint …. in the wrong environment.
To this extent both these terms define an individual in a societal context.
Look forward to your thoughts on connecting these societal perceptions to the concept of the indivdual following his dharma or displaying adharma.
Would it be possibile that a “sinner” follows the path of dharma whilst a ” saint” exhibits adharma?
LikeLike
Hi Vikas , an excellent read.
It could be said that a sinner could actuaaly be a saint …. in the wrong environment.
To this extent both these terms define an individual in a societal context.
Look forward to your thoughts on connecting these societal perceptions to the concept of the indivdual following his dharma or displaying adharma.
Would it be possibile that a “sinner” follows the path of dharma whilst a ” saint” exhibits adharma?
LikeLike
Superb analysis giving both sides of the picture. But, curious to know from your understanding of human nature, whether this cyclic nature of human behaviour is self sustaining. Does everyone who is a saint become a dinner and vice versa or is it again all about the law of probability? Any thoughts?
LikeLike